I Must Be Going Deaf

Guest blog post from Karen’s mom Pat Cain (Brian’s mom-in-law) of Corydon, Indiana.

My daughter Karen called me the other day just as I walked into a department store. I do not do well with talking on my cell phone while doing other things. This is how you can tell I am old. Multi-tasking is not in my vocabulary, so I ask her to call me back later in the afternoon. When I passed by the children’s department I noticed they were having a great sale.

The frugality in me couldn’t pass this up since her youngest daughter Emery has a birthday next month. I decided I should call her back to ensure I had the right size. My daughter informed me to buy a size 4T. Emery will only be 2yrs old on her upcoming birthday, so I couldn’t believe she was going to be big enough to wear a size 4T. Karen and her family had just visited our home 2 weeks prior and while Emery is big for her age, I couldn’t imagine she was that big.

Maybe, I am losing my vision in this old age thing too. Karen should know what size her daughter wore, so I put the 2T’s that were already in my cart, back and purchased the 4T’s. Karen called me later that day. I told her I got Emery some cute outfits but the 4T’s looked awfully big. My daughter replied, “Mom I told you she wore a 2T.”

Now … I am certain I heard her right, otherwise I wouldn’t have exchanged them but she wouldn’t admit it. I know I can’t be losing my hearing and my mind too with this old age thing.

Later that evening I thought about our conversation and how it applies to our life in general. How many times do we misinterpret what someone says and it causes hurt or hard feelings? Maybe those misinterpreted words could even mark the end of a friendship.

When those situations arise and we find ourselves hurt by words, maybe we should face it straight on and ask again what they meant. Community with others is the one thing in this world that keeps us thriving. Isolation from others in our lives is the start down the road of much loneliness and heartache. Don’t allow it to happen.

And remember, it goes both ways. You never know when the words you use could cause hurt. Always give the benefit of the doubt to those you have relationships with. I’m going to work on that … but in the meantime I still think she told me a size 4T.

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I’m a Nut Job

It all started while we were on vacation in the Florida Keys a few months back. The house we stayed at had a multitude of coconut trees. Resting in my pool chair, it seemed as if the coconuts were taunting me saying “you can’t climb up this tree and pick me.”

Well I climbed the tree and got the coconuts, much to the astonishment of my husband and children. Now I needed a reason for my obsession with coconut picking so I didn’t seem like a nut job (no pun intended). Thus I got the idea of the Coconut – Fruits of the Spirit – Family – Project. It would be a fun learning and bonding project for me and the kids this summer.

School starts in a week and there lay those darn coconuts in the box harassing me yet again “You are never going to get this done before school starts.” So finally today I pulled the girls outside in the grueling summer heat to paint the coconuts. I asked the girls to sing me the song so I could remember what all the fruits are. I should be ashamed that I don’t have them memorized. So begrudgingly they started …

I got the love, joy, peace, patience way down in my soul, kindness, goodness, faithful, gentle, self-control …

Kennedy (10) started her painting with JOY. I tried not to be bitter, since I wanted to do joy. I had already planned out the cute little music notes to put on it. I instead started with PATIENCE, thinking I could probably use a heavy dose to get through this project.

Presley (7) decided she didn’t want to do our project and that she would paint an apple on one for her new teacher instead. I was kind of relieved because, I knew hers would be less than perfect, not that I am aiming for perfection or anything, that would make me less than KIND, which is also a quality we will be painting on the stinking coconuts.

JOY was fair, I had Kennedy make just a couple of changes, but it wasn’t terrible. Next Kennedy chose LOVE. I really wanted to do LOVE, so I might have been a little less than GENTLE with her when I made her start over because I didn’t like the finished product.

Kennedy wasn’t FAITHFUL to the project and she left. Presley was already long gone by this point. There I was sitting in the floor of the garage, painting coconuts by myself. What a nut job!

The whole point of this was to spend time with my children, having fun and talking about the virtues God gives us through His Spirit and wants us to display to the world. But instead I made it about the idol of perfection. I could have been teaching my girls principles that really matter; instead I was focused on the cuteness of the project.

Are you like me and constantly battling this tug of war with what really matters? Putting focus on things that will eventually rot and be destroyed? Placing so much importance on the cuteness of coconuts is like chasing the wind … completely and utterly useless and exhausting.

These coconuts will now be a great reminder to me that fruitful virtues are what I should be striving to achieve. As the coconuts fade and rot, which they inevitably will, I will be reminded of the treasures that will never be destroyed.

Karen Culbertson is a founding partner of SaltTee, Premium Christian t-shirts with a story to tell. 100% of all profits from the sale of our soft and comfy premium t-shirts is given directly to ministry efforts in the Dominican Republic. Support this ministry by purchasing your SaltTee today.