Ugh. I’m sorry. That’s what I want to tell you. I have known you were gay for a very long time. I use Facebook memories sometimes to help me remember how long I have known. I look at pictures from when you were eight and realize I knew at that point. I think I have always known. Just as I’ve always known … Continue reading A Mother’s Apology to Her Gay Daughter
My dress is too short. God’s grace is not.
Over Labor Day weekend my husband and I decided to plan a trip with our high school aged daughters. Our time with them is quickly slipping by and we wanted to spend some one on one time with them to connect and have fun. The majority of our plans were touring colleges our senior daughter … Continue reading My dress is too short. God’s grace is not.
Hi. My name is Karen. I have major depressive disorder.
Hi, my name is Karen and I am the girl who used to have a major depressive disorder. I’m the girl who lost 20 pounds because I couldn’t eat, who couldn’t sleep at night because I felt so hopeless, who had guilt over the awful life my family must have because they have to live … Continue reading Hi. My name is Karen. I have major depressive disorder.
I Can’t Sleep
The most common frustration I hear from others in conversation is typically surrounding insomnia and trouble sleeping. I think today alone I’ve seen 10 memes about sleep alluding people. Why does this problem seem to affect so many people and is there an answer to help you achieve an adequate amount of sleep? What if … Continue reading I Can’t Sleep
Not What I Expected
A common reason people come to counseling is “relationship distress.” Relationship distress is the grief that accompanies a relationship that doesn’t meet your personal expectations. The types of relationship can vary, but usually they surround one’s parents, siblings, children, or in-laws; someone through either birth or marriage you did not get to choose. Since I … Continue reading Not What I Expected
4 Sexual Injustices for Women in the Church
My husband recently asked me to write down some examples of injustices woman face in relation to sexuality in preparation for a sermon he was going to give on John 8. The chapter is titled The Woman Caught in Adultery. The woman in this story was found to be having an affair. As the law at that … Continue reading 4 Sexual Injustices for Women in the Church
The Major Thing
In the eulogy George W didn’t mention once that his parents made sure he had organic food his whole life, or had Pinterest worthy birthday parties, or the perfect monogrammed matching outfits with his siblings. He didn’t mention that his parents made sure their week was planned with playdates and millions of extracurricular activities. He reflected over and over again about how much his dad loved and was dedicated to his mother.
I’m a Nut Job
It all started while we were on vacation in the Florida Keys a few months back. The house we stayed at had a multitude of coconut trees. Resting in my pool chair, it seemed as if the coconuts were taunting me saying “you can’t climb up this tree and pick me.”
Well I climbed the tree and got the coconuts, much to the astonishment of my husband and children. Now I needed a reason for my obsession with coconut picking so I didn’t seem like a nut job (no pun intended). Thus I got the idea of the Coconut – Fruits of the Spirit – Family – Project. It would be a fun learning and bonding project for me and the kids this summer.
School starts in a week and there lay those darn coconuts in the box harassing me yet again “You are never going to get this done before school starts.” So finally today I pulled the girls outside in the grueling summer heat to paint the coconuts. I asked the girls to sing me the song so I could remember what all the fruits are. I should be ashamed that I don’t have them memorized. So begrudgingly they started …
I got the love, joy, peace, patience way down in my soul, kindness, goodness, faithful, gentle, self-control …
Kennedy (10) started her painting with JOY. I tried not to be bitter, since I wanted to do joy. I had already planned out the cute little music notes to put on it. I instead started with PATIENCE, thinking I could probably use a heavy dose to get through this project.
Presley (7) decided she didn’t want to do our project and that she would paint an apple on one for her new teacher instead. I was kind of relieved because, I knew hers would be less than perfect, not that I am aiming for perfection or anything, that would make me less than KIND, which is also a quality we will be painting on the stinking coconuts.
JOY was fair, I had Kennedy make just a couple of changes, but it wasn’t terrible. Next Kennedy chose LOVE. I really wanted to do LOVE, so I might have been a little less than GENTLE with her when I made her start over because I didn’t like the finished product.
Kennedy wasn’t FAITHFUL to the project and she left. Presley was already long gone by this point. There I was sitting in the floor of the garage, painting coconuts by myself. What a nut job!
The whole point of this was to spend time with my children, having fun and talking about the virtues God gives us through His Spirit and wants us to display to the world. But instead I made it about the idol of perfection. I could have been teaching my girls principles that really matter; instead I was focused on the cuteness of the project.
Are you like me and constantly battling this tug of war with what really matters? Putting focus on things that will eventually rot and be destroyed? Placing so much importance on the cuteness of coconuts is like chasing the wind … completely and utterly useless and exhausting.
These coconuts will now be a great reminder to me that fruitful virtues are what I should be striving to achieve. As the coconuts fade and rot, which they inevitably will, I will be reminded of the treasures that will never be destroyed.
OK, Karen 